What Do Couples Argue About?

Published: 14th August 2008
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Anyone in a relationship will argue with their partners. It is inevitable. Did you ever wonder what do other couples argue about? Likely they are arguing about the same things that you and your partner argue about. Arguing is normal and it shouldn't be avoided. It really can be used to help bring forth issues and concerns that couples have so they can learn more about each other and bring themselves closer together. So what do couples argue about?

1. Children - the discussions and disputes about children will be never ending. You may fight about whether to have children or not. Once you have kids you may fight about how to raise them, how your families think you should raise them, what they eat, how much money to spend on them, how long their hair should be, who they hang out with, how many video games should they have, when they should play outside, inside, at a friends house or not at all. You may argue about their clothes, jewelry, bedrooms, schoolwork, extracurricular activities. The list could go on and on. Rest assured, your neighbors and friends are having the same discussions.

2. Work/Career - do you both work? Does one work? How much time are you willing to let the other devote to his/her career? Are you willing to let this affect your "family time" or "time together?" Will you like it if your partner travels for work all the time? Can he/she put in late hours, miss dinners, parties, kid functions so they can get ahead in their careers? Have you though about how this will affect you? What do you want more - a high paying career so you can have all the material things you want or less money and "things" so you can have more time with each other (and kids if you chose that path)?

3. Money - many couples argue about money. This is not only couples who don't have alot of money and the stressors that go along with it (i.e. not enough to pay the bills, buy new clothes for the kids or yourself, take a family vacation, home repairs, etc) but it includes those that seem to have all the money they need. Arguments about money are often about control. Who controls the money and what is being done with it? Some may spend too much while others hoard it. Saving money for retirement is a hot button issue with many couples. Living beyond their means is another. We all want nice things but the inevitable debt that comes along with it can lead to a relationships ultimate doom.

4. Sex - a good sex life with your partner will help the bond between you grow and develop stronger. In many relationships the longer couples are together the greater the potential that their sex life will suffer. Frequency of sex is a common area that couples will argue about. Performance and variety are other areas. Don't be afraid to discuss with your partners your needs and wants. This is the only way they will know what you desire and how they can help fulfill you.

5. Housework - may seem trivial when compared to the other topics but it can be a real source of stress with couples. If you both work full time then who is reponsible for cleaning up the house. Afterall, you both are away from the house 40 hours/week or more. When that is the case can it be justified that only one of you becomes the housekeeper? What happens when kids are in the mix? Is one of you expected to work full time, become a full time house cleaner and take care of the kids? You can see how this can become a real problem if it is not openly discussed between the two of you. Come to an agreement as to who will do what tasks. That is the best way to achieve balance in this situation.

If you think you know your partner's views regarding these areas without an open discussion then you are sadly mistaken. You should both ask each other questions about these areas so you are both clear on where the other one stands. Once you have discussed your views openly, then and only then can you reach a mutually exclusive agreement on how you will handle these areas as a couple.

Are you interested in learning more about what couples argue about and relationships? Click here to receive my new free ebook: Couples Argue

Peter Harris is a health care professional and author and writes frequently about relationships.

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